Relapse Prevention at Home: Creating Healthy Boundaries for Struggling Teens
By Jack Vaughan
The path to recovery is never linear and relapse is often a part of a young person’s recovery journey. When previous interventions fail to fully mitigate a teen’s addiction and mental health issues, it can be tempting for parents to withdraw their support. However, research clearly shows that family involvement is one of the most critical factors in promoting long-term recovery.
Understanding the Relapse Process
Relapse, no matter how many times it occurs, is not a sign that recovery is impossible. Many young men and women are able to achieve long term sobriety after relapsing multiple times. Typically, relapse triggers tend to fall into these three main categories:
• Environmental cues – Certain people, places, things or situations associated with past substance use can prompt intense cravings. For teens, these might include parties, old hangouts with friends who still use, driving by the neighborhood liquor store, or even boredom and loneliness.
• Physical cues – Hunger, pain, and other bodily sensations or fluctuations in brain chemistry can activate the reward pathways targeted by addictive substances. Teens who aren’t practicing good self-care are especially vulnerable.
• Emotional cues – Stress, excitement, sadness, anxiety and many other emotions can easily overwhelm a young adult’s capacity to resist a craving. Without healthy coping strategies, teens often seek to “self-medicate” their emotional turmoil regardless of the consequences.
As a parent, being able to recognize your child’s unique triggers and high-risk situations is an important starting point for preventing relapse. Let’s look at exactly how you can create an environment that minimizes triggers and reinforces positive change instead.
Set Healthy Boundaries at Home
Clearing your home of all addictive substances is an essential first step toward supporting your teen’s recovery. Alcohol, marijuana, pills, tobacco, and other related paraphernalia should be completely removed from all areas your teen has access to.
It’s also important to limit and closely monitor their access to cash, credit cards, checks, or anything else that enables obtaining substances easily. Consider keeping car keys and gas money secured until trust has firmly re-established itself over a significant length of time. Removing obvious temptations can go a long way toward preventing a relapse.
Maintain Structure Through House Rules
Teens thrive when they have structure and clear expectations to follow on a daily basis. Sit down together and collaboratively create a mutually agreed upon set of house rules, boundaries and consequences that feel reasonable to everyone involved.
The most effective house rules have several key characteristics:
They are few in number – don’t overwhelm them with an endless list of restrictions. Just focus on the priorities needed to prevent relapse.
They are clearly defined – leave no room for confusion or misinterpreted expectations.
They outline specific consequences – teens are still developing their decision-making abilities and need clearly stated rewards/penalties tied to their choices to learn successfully. These consequences should focus more on restoring harmony through accountability than harsh punishments.
They are consistently upheld – follow through each and every time a rule is broken, without exception. Avoid lecturing, accusations, and judgements, just calmly and emotionlessly implement the consequence you’ve already established.
Explain that these rules are meant to build trust and keep everyone safe while your teen practices making healthier choices independently. Make sure to openly discuss how/when rules could be relaxed moving forward as positive progress continues.
Monitor with Compassion
Your struggling teen has probably experienced enough shame, stigma and judgment from the world already. As much as you need to keep close tabs on their activities to prevent relapse, do your best to monitor their behavior from a place of concern rather than criticism. This means regular caring check-ins, offering open and honest conversations, emotional availability/support, and staying tuned into changes in behaviors or moods.
Explain that you aren’t monitoring their behavior out of mistrust, but that you are supporting them on their way to regaining control of their independence. Let them know this level of vigilance is only temporary.
With comfort and compassion, behavioral monitoring doesn’t have to feel punitive. And keeping a close watch lets you know when they need extra support avoiding tempting situations.
Plan Ahead for High-risk Scenarios
Despite your best efforts, your teen will inevitably find themselves facing old triggers and challenging situations. They might cross paths with old using buddies, face intense peer pressure at a party, or have a random drug craving. Emotionally difficult events like a bad breakup or a family argument can also test their coping abilities.
Rather than hoping to shield them from all these potential pitfalls, help your teen prepare ahead of time by creating a solid relapse prevention plan. Have open conversations about what healthy choices they can make when faced with temptation or emotional turmoil. Brainstorm options together like calling you, their sober mentor, or sponsor first, avoiding risky people/places altogether, leaving uncomfortable situations immediately, or relying on positive outlets like exercise and art.
Equipping your teen to make wise in-the-moment choices before consequences occur goes a long way toward preventing full blown relapses down the road.
Connect with Supportive Allies
Lastly, help your teen surround themselves with healthy social connections that will uplift their recovery journey. There is no recovery without community.
Supportive allies include recovery mentors, other teens in recover, and sponsorship through 12-step/abstinence related programs. Actively help your teen seek out new connections within these recovery-oriented networks. Start introducing them to healthier social circles like recreational sports teams, hobby meetups or volunteer organizations where they can build their confidence and self-esteem too.
Relapse is Hard – Recovery is Possible
Even if you do everything “right,” the unfortunate reality is that relapse remains highly common along the path to lifelong recovery. Despite your best efforts, your recovering teen will occasionally make poor choices. Try to have reasonable expectations while also encouraging accountability and commitment.
If a relapse does occur, avoid knee jerk reactions. Instead, acknowledge that it has happened and then compassionately identify a new recovery plan with stronger support measures in place. .
With layered support from you, a recovery mentor, sponsors, and fellow teens in recovery, your struggling adolescent can get back on track. It will takes time for them to renew their commitment to recovery and to rebuild their self-confidence, but it can be done. With patient and compassionate support anchored in structure and accountability, even multiple relapses along the way don’t have to define your teen’s future.
Relapse Prevention Done Right
At YPM, our team has over 100 years of combined experience successfully guiding adolescents, young adults and their families through exactly these kinds of complex recovery journeys. We’ve helped hundreds of teens connect with professional mentors whom they can relate to and and achieve long term sobriety. Our highly skilled mentors are experts at helping their young clients develop emotional resilience, commit to recovery, connect to positive peer groups, and lean into their highest potential. There is no struggle too messy or relapse too discouraging for our team.
Our innovative mentoring programs, parent coaching and concierge-level resources can help your family prevent the next relapse before your struggling teen ever gets there. With our bespoke approach we can help you turn destructive cycles into healthy boundaries. Connect with us today to learn more about how our approach can help your teen achieve lasting recovery and wellness, on their own terms and in their own communities.